Tuesday 4 December 2012

Too Many

There are just too many things to do. Go to work, 12 kids under 3, pick up this, drive here, dinner…shit…DINNER! Bath-time, bedtime, tomorrow lunches. Laundry, Did I eat Lunch today? Water; drink more. Cry a little. Vacuum, garbages out. Brush your teeth, hair fixing for the 7th? 7th time today. Kisses. Slowdown. Breathe. Okay, Im done. No crocheting today :-(  didnt talk to my sister today :-(   I did see other family:-)   Stress over writing a good "go" versus write for release. Reeeelaaaaaaax. *Sigh* time for sleep ...... :-)

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Friday 2 November 2012

Grandpa Callard

It has been way too long since Ive last written......thing is, life-changing events have taken place and I needed time to process before being in a place where I was willing to amplify my emotions through the release of writing.

I know a man who has worked his whole life,
And he wears the hats of many men.
A Husband, a Father, a Grandfather, a brother;
A man by the name of Raymond.
This man taught lessons numerous,
With his action he led his way.
Always with a fire for justice,
Always with honor complete at the end of his days.
This man taught me you never stop dreaming,
That you must always have a plan.
He taught me Discipline, Respect, and laughter.
He taught me to lend a helping hand.
For this man was my Grandpa,
Who's love for us was infinitely strong.
I will never say goodbye to him,
For in our hearts he lives forever on.

Raymond Callard RIP xoxoxoxo

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Saturday 6 October 2012

Monday 3 September 2012

Croquet

Im Left-handed and am learning to croquet Right-handed bc my Grandma is RH and teaching me. A good 5-7 hours into making this scarf I laugh at myself realizing my Husband would so much rather own a touque for Christmas. Well.....let me tell you something about dominance. My Left hand wont stay the f outta there! My chains and jazz are tight and miserable. I finally get RH dominance and 2 hours later have a finger puppet lol Even my 20 day old niece will be to big for this 'hat'. I change the increase and chain sticking to what I think is a doublechain and am 5? Rows or 'circles' down. Im thinking 4-8 more and Ive taught myself, ode to Grandmas Skills, a wonky homemade hat for my daughter. Ill post a pic as soon as its completed.

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Wednesday 29 August 2012

Rainbows?

When you're young you know RIGHT from WRONG. Then, as you grow older, more and more people become different shades of right and wrong; identifiable by a color. One person blue, another yellow, green.......before you know it we are being told what color to feel, what color to be, what color is what. There is magic in a person who knows when to stfu. Respect to be had for the person who refuses silence from fear. Fear of negativity due to rebellion of anothers opinion.......of their color. RAINBOWS BITCHES    :-) It is possible to co-exist as one.

"His side, Her side, the Truth"

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Wednesday 8 August 2012

SuperSweet

I sat there, sari woven tealest teal, Motherhood draped upon me as my child curled inwards upon my lap. Her mottled faded real blanket, cherished heart of hearts blanket, cacooning her towards me. I remembering thinking "I should help" and then my heart sang. I realized I already had a job and I was doing it. My joy was fauceted trillion-fold as serenity filled my aura and swooned peace upon my child.

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Wednesday 4 July 2012

Super.....oh?

Do people actually withhold sex as a means to get something accomplished?? Blows my mind that anyone would want to say 'no'. Then again, Im starting to think its how Im getting trained to be housewife.    :-o    

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Thursday 21 June 2012

SuperBaseball

I'm currently playing on a co-ed softball team and I LOVE it! I feel like ME when I am out there running around, catching the ball and throwing it. As always there are the "what the fuck was that?" moments when my body is too slow and I wish I had made that awesome water-splatting slide/catch.....but, well....practice is where its at. Soooooooooooo.....I've now begun to throw around the idea of fallball. I can develope my skills while on another team lol and its a great opportunity to continue playing the sport that I love. The downside being.....I'm a newer parent (my daughter is 2) and I am finding the strain of juggling here, there and everywhere a bit chaotic. Ideas? I wanna go with JUST MAKE IT WORK lol but will that be fair to my team if I cannot always make it? and if sometimes there is early cancellations? I guess I have to ask myself how bad do I want it? and how much help is my husband happily and willingly able to give. He was a trooper this season but I don't know how the idea of ball all year will really sit with him....well I do know, he thinks I'm a bit crazy lol but crazy is me I guess ;)     

Monday 14 May 2012

SuperOw

The worse pain is the heartwrenching truth of someone trying to placate you because they love you but at the same time do not understand anything you are saying. That they do not understand you, and that even if they did, their heart would not feel the same. A womans body is SO different to that of a man. Biologically everything is ticking. . . . . . . . *Sigh*

Sunday 13 May 2012

SuperRant

People say humans are creatures of habit. What if we are really creatures of fear? Fear of change.....Fear of loss.....fear of the unknown......

Too often there is so much left undone do to weariness and fear. What is the gene that allows us to get up and go and conquere? is it success? Or a fear to fail? What about a simple life. A life that revolves around family and friends. Work your 9-5 and come home. Weekends filled with laughter, parties and family BBQs.

How many habits are addictions? Smoking; some say a habit, others an addiction. I've heard people say they haven't tried to quit because they fear their lack of success. Strength to try......Gumption?

NIN "Every day is exactlly the same" .....sometimes that isn't a good thing.

Sunday 6 May 2012

SuperWorkshop

I went to a workshop last night that really allowed me tounderstand how as a Day-caregiver I can help further
these ease through love. That a child who cries is responding to their lymbic system alerting them that something is amiss,duh, their mom/dad there! This crying is actually the child sharing their unease as they feel safe enough to do so with me as their awayfromhome attatchment. Bridge the gap. If a child is away for periods of time, shorten that by bringing their mom/dad closer. This can be done through pictures, a special blanket or toy, notes, etc there is no limit. If a child needs to follow you room to room to room, LET THEM. They are alarrmed and need you for their safety. I applied this today and its been a fantastic day full of laughter!

SuperTransition

SERIOUSLY?! Okay....my wireless provider supplies me with a FREE Blackberry. I'm not an idiot, I understand that the Iphone is a plague overtaking the earth but I also remember the days where BLACKBERRY was the newest rash. I accept this free offer only to find that the bastards CHARGE you for everything, where a SMARTPHONE gives you free ringtones, apps, etc. AND I cannot post to my blog! ASS-HOLE.....! SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, now I decide..........textile input (buttons) AND AWESOME notifaction delivery combined with upgrades fb access OR OLDSCHOOL which is slowly looking to be the better bet in the forn of the SONY EXPERIA 10

Thursday 12 April 2012

SuperWTF

I have, maybe, half a dozen days out of the year where I seriously ask myself if I'm crazy. Crazy for choosing the field of childcare. Today was one of those days. Today I got caught in the drizzle of urine (thankfully my own childs-don't know why but that's comforting), stepped in human feces and changed more urine/fece attacked clothing/diapers than ever in my life. Today sucked lol (laughing=todays minimal beginings of hysteria)
I threw away my shoes that had the fate to fall in human poop. New Balance shoes have grooves and nooks, that aint coming out unless you have an iron gag-reflex and time. I was going to buy new shoes this weekend but fate interviened. I now have no shoes bc I'm an idiot. How am I to get shoes (go to the store) when my shoes are in the garbage? Oh and when my wallet is m.i.a? Thank you Michelle! On the advantagious side, the shoes I didn't buy today, DO NOT have shit on them :) So for the remainder of the afternoon and a nightclass I rocked badass compfy ugh boots and sporty/yoga shorts, yikes. Meanwhile you're so distracted by the chaos that is my wordrobe that I'm silently forgetting the bandage over my weeping cut across my right knee.......and the duct tape keeping the dressings there to cover it. BAM!
The evening arrives and I am yet to go home but class has finished just before 9. I do a driveby of "Payless" to remember they're closed and I still do not know where my wallet is. My knee is sore and I don't have another dressing. I don't want to rock sporty/yoga shorts with boots agian so I call my gf who owns the boots I've already borrowed and pray my bizzar situation isn't about to land me awkward. Do you have a pair of flipflops I can borrow? I'm getting new shoes on my lunchbreak tomorrow. Pffft........AWKWARD! lol Seriously gratefull for aweosome people ;)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
The End

Tomorrow is going to kick ass. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! Tomorrow I will have Friday coffee :) Tomorrow I am Wonderwoman and tonight; I sleep.

Friday 6 April 2012

SuperSpazz

The cut slimed stone walls burried the fallen crest of the setting sun. Firery orange drifting into the sinjed fade of hope dying. Screams broke through the fog cracking the crisp lines of a clammy silence. Breath rasped as their back suctioned to the green of the stones circling them. Silence wakes. Footsteps when there should be none....


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Wednesday 4 April 2012

SuperWarm

I love the feeling of love. Simple I know, yet it never fades to feel so completely warm inside. The flush of a smile as a phone call is received and you reconnect with 'a lost friend' which really is code for a) had a baby b) back in school or c) surprise! I get busy too ;-) So.....my friends, thanks for the call....the thought.....the text.....for even if we only talk once every few weeks, or even every few months, the warmth of knowing you has never faded <3


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Tuesday 3 April 2012

SuperWow

It honestly astounds me when I learn something that someone has preached at me incessantly. You can say something to be repeatedly but its when I am able to wind the gears in my own mind and see the results that it actually MEANS something. How often have I done this?! How often are people trying to help others but we have forgotten how to learn! How to hear and how to understand. Amazing :-)


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Sunday 25 March 2012

SuperConsequences

My daughters latest and greatest is to rip her way into a powerstruggle with a tenfoot tall toddler attitude to try and expand her boundaries. Example a......."Go to the park?" she asks. "Sure" I reply, "We need to clean up first though" (put her hockey stick and ball away) "NO", "Well, then we're not going to the park" this repeats until she decides to listen....so three asks and the same three you need to clean up first. She finally does, I ask her what she would like to clean up, the ball or the stick and I take the other in to demonstrate teamwork, helping and all that good stuff. Off to the park! NOPE. Example b....."Hold my hand please" "NO!" ....aw man I inwardly groan, here we go again. "Claire we are not going to the park unless you hold my hand" the cycle repeats and we make it to the park. Here I am pushing her in the swing mentally patting my back and puffing up my selfesteem and the lil bugger starts screeching at me to stop. So I stop the swing and ask if if everythings alright. "Do it again?" she asks....."But you just yelled for me to stop?! :| okay, I'll push you again, but no yelling. If you yell we are going home". Suicides, she yells, and LAUGHS at me! Well now I REALLY have to follow through. Now she wont even walk! Shes kicking her boots off and doing the whole limp body. I try several attempts and finally say "Claire, boots on or off its all good. It is time to go home. Now either you walk home and we continue to play, or I help you and we go home and you go to bed. She totally starts walking only to go limp in the middle of the road, grrrrr.....so I pick her up and carry her home with her boots in my other hand. Hone, brush teeth, diaper change. I say again, "Yelling is not okay. It hurts my feelings and its rude. If we are to go to the park we work as a team. You need to listen to me to be safe. I love you"

She fell asleep in seconds. Sigh. So how much is toddler, vs tired, vs terrible twos? No idea lol but thank goodness shes sleeping bc Im freakin done lol


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Friday 16 March 2012

SuperSmile

And my heart sang love as happiness fell from my smile. Love me. Hear me. To hold, to hug, to breathe, to love. Spring dawns and summer will crest. Each day to live, to give our best. Be kind, be honest. Live true, live strong. A kind heart and morals cannot steer you wrong.


Honesty is modern bravery


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Sunday 11 March 2012

SuperSimple

Water. It gives life and creates wonder. This picture reminds me of the hidden lands a childs imagination creates. That puddles are acres of possibilities. A splash, a ripple and an explosion of a created chaos. Water styling the edges of her rubber boots as her laughter crinkles her triangle blue eyes.


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Tuesday 21 February 2012

SuperHorrible

What an aweful feeling.....the feeling of helplessness. Is helplessness needing to ask for help? Or is asking for help a way of regaining control and implementing further improvements? Having kids is hard :-( there is so much worry and unknown. How do we turn it off? Well, at least dial it down lol I have a problem with relaxing, securitization and fear for the unknown. It used to be fun, prekid, but now I worry too much, think too much, and the chaos of a forever plotting/planning brain is going to drive me crazy :-(  Life doesn't get easier.....so what do I do when I don't get stronger?


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Saturday 11 February 2012

SuperBrave

A teaming mass of adolesents crest the corner of the hallway and I search frantically counting for my four little toddlers. I know all the children, small and tall, and only seek the young as a fevered habit. Voices from each jumpy child reach up to me in an excited frenzy.....something about a car? Oh....something about MY car. I've four toddlers, all here. Okay, attention towards the chaos of excitment and I see the worry on their teachers face. A child has something to tell me, and it's about my car. Okay I think. Well, I tell myself, you know what's what when you park where you park, and a car doesn't stay crisp and new for forever. Besides, my Ruby Red (yes that's my lil Toyota Echo) had already been cristened with an accident. I search the crowd for the child that has this message to be delivered. The child is not there. Down the hall we converge where a young boy is sitting in a farther corner. He raises himself as his crowd of peers surround him, squacking explanations towards what has taken place, he walks head held up and eyes towards me. Four toddlers still accounted for. I crouch to his eyelevel and ask what is is he has to tell me. Infront of all his classmates, two teachers, and babies pulling at arms; he EVER so bravely looks me IN THE EYE; and says he's sorry, as he has kicked the front licenseplate to my car and has broken it, it has fallen down. Now, here's the tricky part. I KNOW my license plate is broken. I know this because I was in my car when the asshole rearended me into the car infront of me! So as this couragous fellow tells me this I make a choice. Would repremanding help his soul? or counsil? How best to guide the situation to a solution where we have LEARNED? I sought what I hope enlightened the honour of truth. As his apology concluded, I sought the eye of the children surrounding and settled on the confesse......"I am very proud of you for your courage and your honesty in telling me the choice you had made. It can be VERY scary to tell the truth, especially infront of so many people. But you did (tell the truth) and I am proud of you, as you should be of yourself. I am NOT happy you kicked my car. But would you like to know something tricky?...............my license plate was already broken". I cannot say forsure these were my exact words as alas I am a writer and memory can often endulge in a writer brain concerning matters of the heart, HOWEVER, I definatley recall the look of sheer relief that became this young boys face. The smile that stole his somber look. Later, I begrudgenly sought out my car to see (and belatedly remember) that said young boy is in kirate, and my lisence plate is nearly in TWO! lol I sighed and then laughed. Reminding myslef that a car is a car and HOPEFULLY the path I had chosen was one that would help guide in a healthier, happier light for a child I can only assume could succeed from love. For what child does not seek shelter of love when they know they have wronged? Whether it be from their peers, their parents, or on this day, a teacher.

Thursday 26 January 2012

SuperTwo

Two toddlers.......two Besties. Only one me; lets do it! Tonight was Claires first "Slumber Party" with a girlfriend. Every morning on our car ride to daycare (as she is in the class I teach) she asks to make sure Mika will be there (her 'besty'). So today as I was off at 5:30pm I had Mika and my daughter Claire. We sat at the "toddler table" and shared a snack. Ham and blueberry muffin lol Hugs and kisses from Mika's Momma and we were on our way.....down the stairs, each clunky boot hitting its own note of independance as we made our way down a staircase towards new beginnings. I buckled them in to my lil Toyota Echo. Round two of kisses from Mikas Mom. Baby behind me on the left. Baby behind me on the right. Here we go! With a snack in their belly I was taking them grocery shopping. lol. YUP! that's right. Let's do this! Honest? Fucking amazed at their tranquility. I asked them what they would like for dinner, ideas they had, thoughts.....and they responded.....they drove their 'car buggy' as we strolled through PriceMart and people STOPPED to point and giggle with glee in response to these two lil gals. We made our way home and ate dinner. Bath time followed. Bubbles, warmth and laughter. Playtime came after which included, a fake-rabbit, fake-squirrel, balls, a frog, a catipillar, Rapunzel and more....Literally 5 minutes of t.v which Claire LOVED as Toopee and Beenu (no idea what the correct spelling is) was on and Mika continued to play. Sooooooooooooo.........the scary part.....TWO toddlers to bed, in toddler beds, side by side, in the same room..............Well....let's do it ;) Honest? not as bad as I though it would be but I definatly had a moment of "oh baby don't cry".....my baby or Erins baby...my heart PULLED! So I went back into Claires room (where we even had Mikas home nightlight plugged in) and I laid inbetween them for a bit over 30 minutes. I left the room after and for the following ten minutes you could hear each child fall alseep and each child get woke up by the others crying. You could hear Claire tell Mika "its okay Mika, no crying", and as I sat outside ther bedroom door texting Mikas mother.....I hear Mika crawling back into bed and pass-out. So in total.....about an hour for two toddlers to go to sleep.....side by side.....one pillow added.......cuddles and back-pats included...........SuperTwo.

post scripture
Claire woke at 5am hungry lol Mika awoke to Claire talking and they both fell sleep five minutes or so later (Claire after eating as the "I'm hungry Mommy" would not stop and I didn't want her to wakeup Mika which happened anyway lol I grabbd my blanket and slumbered between the two for the next two hours and now they are playing happily

Saturday 21 January 2012

SuperForeverYoung





Remember when our world revolved around Magic? I would say it was that magic that kept us Forever Young. A world revolved around our favorite shows, our favorite characters. In this picture, tucking our favourites into bed :) Dreams, love, magic and wonder......

Memories and smiles,
Warmth and dreams.
Only a child sees,
Wonders of innocence unseen.

Happiness and laughter,
Joy through love.
Tenderness given,
As only a child could.

Heart seen in her eyes,
As she tucks her doll to sleep.
Forever Young my child,
I will help you keep.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

SuperWhine

I'd like to think I don't have 'these' mornings often. In this moment of taboo selfdisclosure, forbid anyone should mention a time of sadness, I am; I feel sad. I'm having a 'the world doesn't quite feel loving today' moment. Then as the sad permeates around my heart inking it sour, I grow mad. I don't want to hear all the reasons why a) lifes so awesome be thankful or b) I agree because....FUCK THAT....it's a 17year olds immature tantrum now crying out, strangled and hurt. Oooooh, I can start to feel a clearing of the anger towards selfrealization....today my love tank is running low. A pissant to myself for not recognising it and paying attention to my own needs, for ultimately; only I can supply them *sigh* okay....My time for sad was felt, my anger now ceased, a slip of guilt felt and some embarrassed anguish *breathe* now a time for happy, let's start this grump off with some calm shall we? Lol


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Monday 16 January 2012

SuperGrowth

Every parent says it, every person has heard it, yet you never REALLY believe how fast children grow until the child is yours. Claire crawled at 5 1/2 months, walked at 9 months, is under 2 and talking in sentences and having conversations....uh...? Where's my baby gone? :-(

I know children grow fast, I see it happen, but when it's your babe....it's magic. Even when they shit on the toilet it's magic lol


With every smile,

With every laugh.

I learn and grow,

As I see you grow past;

The baby you once were.


Your words are clear,

Your emotions strong.

Your eyes fill with meaning,

As your eyebrows move along;

My little Toddler.


All too soon you'll be my little Kindergartner,

All too soon, all too soon.

But for now I have more magic;

More moments just Mommy and you

Xoxo


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Thursday 12 January 2012

SuperDiscipline

I often am asked "How do you get them to listen to you?" (the children) and its quite simple. DISCIPLINE. Get off your ass and follow through. MODEL. Get off your ass and show then how to do it WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE:-) People wonder why children give attitude lol because they were TAUGHT attitude. I know, I know, yikes the next time my daughter throws a tantrum....BUT, thinking about words said to a driver who cut me off or words uttered when I stubbed my toe, and guess where her behavioural arsenal has increased from? Surprise! Without meaning to have taught her, I HAVE given her, her next tantrum. So....lets be disciplined. Lets train ourselves to laugh, to sing, to HAVE FUN and FOLLOW THROUGH, MODEL and you will find groups of children, children, people, laughing with you and listening.....


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Monday 9 January 2012

SuperChild

I am thankful that as an early childhood teacher I can repeatedly enjoy the quirks of childhood throughout my adult work day. A perfect example being my amazing 'link beard'. It caused such a cascade of laughter as I shuffled about uttering insensibility to all I passed by. The wave of smiles tilting up to mark the childrens eyes as even my fellow coworkers giggled at the silliness I was displaying. Life is beautiful and it breathes beauty often through laughter.


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Saturday 7 January 2012

SuperWonder

Whenever I'm given one of these looks I have to marvel at the innocence of childhood. I am reminded to retrain myself to think happy thoughts, and my reminder as of late is that she is still surprised to find the moon in the sky EACH time. It's her laughter that follows lifes simplicities for literally no reason. This picture, with her 'cape' on was her "wow'd" when looking up at the sky one day. A sky that we see just as we breathe. We complain about it; no sun, too much sun, we whine about clouds. Yet a child, regardless, sees beauty. To her the mass of angry grey seething across the sky stills her with its wonder.


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Friday 6 January 2012

SuperOldschool

Remember when catching grasshoppers and putting them in your black rubber lidded garbage cans was the latest and greatest? Or how about hide-and-seek out in the tall meadows grass growing freely to the sky? This game (as seen in the picture to the left) is 'put rock in the hole' YUP, just that simple. No videogame, no tv, just good ol' pick it up and put it in; kerrrrplunk. The days of when you were 'bored' and you were told to GO OUTSIDE seem to have slowly wain within the supernova of consistantly evolving and reproducing technology. I get it, I do.....sometimes you NEED to slow down. I watch movies with my daughter, we play songs on my smartphone, and yes I own a Nintendo Wii.....HOWEVER, these only retain magic if we have CONSISTANTLY allowed our childrens brains to develope in the REAL world. An OUTSIDE world. One with dirt, mess, rocks and sticks. Where they can build a 3-dimensional PHYSICALLY THERE structure to play in....to CREATE, thrive, SOCIALISE and learn hands on. Soooooo.....'put rock in the hole'

SuperDumb

The title was supposed to be "superannoying" for what was going to be my first blog....well, its superdumb now because I'm the goose who titled the whole shabang incorrectly. It's continuing on the SuperDumb track as its now taken me three days and multiple attempts to write what has now become a rant. Well, lets make it a good one.

Sometimes Im slow and stupid
Just as anyone can be
What's special about this clearly
Is its not funny when its happening to me

So fuck you technology
You sure are pissing me off
What is the expression?
Turn your head to the side and cough!