Eons

Too often....it's true....everything changes and it changes so fast. The expectations on yourself are really put there by yourself. It's you, thinking about what you think everybody needs, and wanting from you. The key....the beauty...if you don't buy their bullshit they're selling then it doesn't matter what they think. The best qualities that anyone can have is to learn how to be their own best friend. I missed that lesson....I never understood. So instead of bullshit; listeb to and trust myself.

Sweetest Girl

My daughter and I were out for a walk when she saw a bundle of tulips on a Memorial. She ran over excitedly shouting about finding flowers and how beautiful they were. When she wanted to pick them up bc they were 'cut flowers' (so she wouldn't be picking them) I explained to her the following...... These flowers are here on a 'Memory Stone' for someone who has died (Yes I said died); like how Ellie's (our cat) body became ill and when she died her soul went to the stars. So this stone is for people to remember the person who they have lost, and a way to remember and celebrate a life of someone who has passed is to put flowers on their Memory Stone and that's why we leave them. I then read the plaque to her. Those red tulpis were Sid Harrison' s flowers. At the end of the plaque it said; "always in our hearts" which is exactly what we tell our 3 year old daughter about Ellie. That even though she has died that her soul is with the stars and that she lives on because she is I  our hearts. So......here's the precious part. ....on our way home Claire picks up some flowers that have fallen from a tree and she carries them home. EVER SO GENTLY she carries these flowers. She looks up at me and says "these flowers are for Ellie Mom. She is forever in my heart". The picture here is of Claire 'planting' the flowers in the garden beside Ellie's Memory Stone <3

Drop a stitch, add a stitch, going crazy

The hardest thing to do is often to be less judgmental of ourselves. That mistakes happen (even when they are such a small simple thing) and to remember that we shouldnt let the mistake dim our inner light with disappointment. Feel the sad. Let it go. Learn from it and you will become better equipped for going forward into the future :-)

Newer Hats:-)

Thought it worth while to show that my crocheting talents have increased:-)

Too Many

There are just too many things to do. Go to work, 12 kids under 3, pick up this, drive here, dinner…shit…DINNER! Bath-time, bedtime, tomorrow lunches. Laundry, Did I eat Lunch today? Water; drink more. Cry a little. Vacuum, garbages out. Brush your teeth, hair fixing for the 7th? 7th time today. Kisses. Slowdown. Breathe. Okay, Im done. No crocheting today :-(  didnt talk to my sister today :-(   I did see other family:-)   Stress over writing a good "go" versus write for release. Reeeelaaaaaaax. *Sigh* time for sleep ...... :-)

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Grandpa Callard

It has been way too long since Ive last written......thing is, life-changing events have taken place and I needed time to process before being in a place where I was willing to amplify my emotions through the release of writing.

I know a man who has worked his whole life,
And he wears the hats of many men.
A Husband, a Father, a Grandfather, a brother;
A man by the name of Raymond.
This man taught lessons numerous,
With his action he led his way.
Always with a fire for justice,
Always with honor complete at the end of his days.
This man taught me you never stop dreaming,
That you must always have a plan.
He taught me Discipline, Respect, and laughter.
He taught me to lend a helping hand.
For this man was my Grandpa,
Who's love for us was infinitely strong.
I will never say goodbye to him,
For in our hearts he lives forever on.

Raymond Callard RIP xoxoxoxo

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Family

Loving Life xoxo

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Croquet Hat Complete

:-)

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Croquet

Im Left-handed and am learning to croquet Right-handed bc my Grandma is RH and teaching me. A good 5-7 hours into making this scarf I laugh at myself realizing my Husband would so much rather own a touque for Christmas. Well.....let me tell you something about dominance. My Left hand wont stay the f outta there! My chains and jazz are tight and miserable. I finally get RH dominance and 2 hours later have a finger puppet lol Even my 20 day old niece will be to big for this 'hat'. I change the increase and chain sticking to what I think is a doublechain and am 5? Rows or 'circles' down. Im thinking 4-8 more and Ive taught myself, ode to Grandmas Skills, a wonky homemade hat for my daughter. Ill post a pic as soon as its completed.

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Rainbows?

When you're young you know RIGHT from WRONG. Then, as you grow older, more and more people become different shades of right and wrong; identifiable by a color. One person blue, another yellow, green.......before you know it we are being told what color to feel, what color to be, what color is what. There is magic in a person who knows when to stfu. Respect to be had for the person who refuses silence from fear. Fear of negativity due to rebellion of anothers opinion.......of their color. RAINBOWS BITCHES    :-) It is possible to co-exist as one.

"His side, Her side, the Truth"

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SuperSweet

I sat there, sari woven tealest teal, Motherhood draped upon me as my child curled inwards upon my lap. Her mottled faded real blanket, cherished heart of hearts blanket, cacooning her towards me. I remembering thinking "I should help" and then my heart sang. I realized I already had a job and I was doing it. My joy was fauceted trillion-fold as serenity filled my aura and swooned peace upon my child.

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Super.....oh?

Do people actually withhold sex as a means to get something accomplished?? Blows my mind that anyone would want to say 'no'. Then again, Im starting to think its how Im getting trained to be housewife.    :-o    

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SuperBaseball

I'm currently playing on a co-ed softball team and I LOVE it! I feel like ME when I am out there running around, catching the ball and throwing it. As always there are the "what the fuck was that?" moments when my body is too slow and I wish I had made that awesome water-splatting slide/catch.....but, well....practice is where its at. Soooooooooooo.....I've now begun to throw around the idea of fallball. I can develope my skills while on another team lol and its a great opportunity to continue playing the sport that I love. The downside being.....I'm a newer parent (my daughter is 2) and I am finding the strain of juggling here, there and everywhere a bit chaotic. Ideas? I wanna go with JUST MAKE IT WORK lol but will that be fair to my team if I cannot always make it? and if sometimes there is early cancellations? I guess I have to ask myself how bad do I want it? and how much help is my husband happily and willingly able to give. He was a trooper this season but I don't know how the idea of ball all year will really sit with him....well I do know, he thinks I'm a bit crazy lol but crazy is me I guess ;)     

Clever Carter

http://www.specialneeds.com/children-and-parents/autism/clever-carter-story-about-autism

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SuperOw

The worse pain is the heartwrenching truth of someone trying to placate you because they love you but at the same time do not understand anything you are saying. That they do not understand you, and that even if they did, their heart would not feel the same. A womans body is SO different to that of a man. Biologically everything is ticking. . . . . . . . *Sigh*

SuperRant

People say humans are creatures of habit. What if we are really creatures of fear? Fear of change.....Fear of loss.....fear of the unknown......

Too often there is so much left undone do to weariness and fear. What is the gene that allows us to get up and go and conquere? is it success? Or a fear to fail? What about a simple life. A life that revolves around family and friends. Work your 9-5 and come home. Weekends filled with laughter, parties and family BBQs.

How many habits are addictions? Smoking; some say a habit, others an addiction. I've heard people say they haven't tried to quit because they fear their lack of success. Strength to try......Gumption?

NIN "Every day is exactlly the same" .....sometimes that isn't a good thing.

SuperWorkshop

I went to a workshop last night that really allowed me tounderstand how as a Day-caregiver I can help further
these ease through love. That a child who cries is responding to their lymbic system alerting them that something is amiss,duh, their mom/dad there! This crying is actually the child sharing their unease as they feel safe enough to do so with me as their awayfromhome attatchment. Bridge the gap. If a child is away for periods of time, shorten that by bringing their mom/dad closer. This can be done through pictures, a special blanket or toy, notes, etc there is no limit. If a child needs to follow you room to room to room, LET THEM. They are alarrmed and need you for their safety. I applied this today and its been a fantastic day full of laughter!

SuperTransition

SERIOUSLY?! Okay....my wireless provider supplies me with a FREE Blackberry. I'm not an idiot, I understand that the Iphone is a plague overtaking the earth but I also remember the days where BLACKBERRY was the newest rash. I accept this free offer only to find that the bastards CHARGE you for everything, where a SMARTPHONE gives you free ringtones, apps, etc. AND I cannot post to my blog! ASS-HOLE.....! SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, now I decide..........textile input (buttons) AND AWESOME notifaction delivery combined with upgrades fb access OR OLDSCHOOL which is slowly looking to be the better bet in the forn of the SONY EXPERIA 10

SuperWTF

I have, maybe, half a dozen days out of the year where I seriously ask myself if I'm crazy. Crazy for choosing the field of childcare. Today was one of those days. Today I got caught in the drizzle of urine (thankfully my own childs-don't know why but that's comforting), stepped in human feces and changed more urine/fece attacked clothing/diapers than ever in my life. Today sucked lol (laughing=todays minimal beginings of hysteria)
I threw away my shoes that had the fate to fall in human poop. New Balance shoes have grooves and nooks, that aint coming out unless you have an iron gag-reflex and time. I was going to buy new shoes this weekend but fate interviened. I now have no shoes bc I'm an idiot. How am I to get shoes (go to the store) when my shoes are in the garbage? Oh and when my wallet is m.i.a? Thank you Michelle! On the advantagious side, the shoes I didn't buy today, DO NOT have shit on them :) So for the remainder of the afternoon and a nightclass I rocked badass compfy ugh boots and sporty/yoga shorts, yikes. Meanwhile you're so distracted by the chaos that is my wordrobe that I'm silently forgetting the bandage over my weeping cut across my right knee.......and the duct tape keeping the dressings there to cover it. BAM!
The evening arrives and I am yet to go home but class has finished just before 9. I do a driveby of "Payless" to remember they're closed and I still do not know where my wallet is. My knee is sore and I don't have another dressing. I don't want to rock sporty/yoga shorts with boots agian so I call my gf who owns the boots I've already borrowed and pray my bizzar situation isn't about to land me awkward. Do you have a pair of flipflops I can borrow? I'm getting new shoes on my lunchbreak tomorrow. Pffft........AWKWARD! lol Seriously gratefull for aweosome people ;)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
The End

Tomorrow is going to kick ass. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! Tomorrow I will have Friday coffee :) Tomorrow I am Wonderwoman and tonight; I sleep.

SuperSpazz

The cut slimed stone walls burried the fallen crest of the setting sun. Firery orange drifting into the sinjed fade of hope dying. Screams broke through the fog cracking the crisp lines of a clammy silence. Breath rasped as their back suctioned to the green of the stones circling them. Silence wakes. Footsteps when there should be none....

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